I Can't Stop Thinking About My Valentine!

Today got permission from my valentine to mention her name..( Drums rolling please!!) You want to know her name? Well here goes. Her name is Siti Amirah and she's in my school but in different class, of course! I'm definitely in Sec 5 and she is in Sec 3 and we both in the same stream( in Normal Acad)...She is in 3N1and for me in 5N1( dun like to call 4E6..don't sound nice)...I had a crush with her since last year. Could she really be the one for me? Everytime I see her outside her class cuz her class just near my class. Just a class apart. I eveytime want to talk to her but I was too afraid but one day was brave enough to talk to her. That day was Valentine's Day. She always with her friends so kinda hard talking to her and her friends always calls me name..( like kena bully by girls...)But I don't care what her friends say. What I care the most is her. There's something about her that made her really special to me. It's not how she looks, or anything else. I also don't know what it is but I can feel it.

Soemtimes we message each other( i started first and then she sometimes reply cuz she like everytime busy)and chat online. Then my friend, Reflix wrote a poem about me and her..(Thanx ,bro!)Actually he wrotes a lot poems so I ask him he can help to writeso he says he can. Well, here the poem goes :

I have eyes but I don't get to see her
I have lips but I can't get to kiss her.
I have ears but I don't get to hear her voice
I only have the voice to say her name.

To pray, to hope to wait, to wish that she will feel the same.
I only have the heart to care for her.
The heart to miss her deeply,
The heart to love her fully,
In my heart, that's where you belomg

That's it. I think it is really sweet and romantic...Jeesh, wish I can write like that but poems must come from the heart A friend of mine told me and I belived that's true. One day I will be a poet just like Reflix cuz he is one of a good poet that I know . Now back to my post...The 2nd line of the poem makes me blush alot but only for 30 secs I guessed and then I was okay. If I got any problems, I just think of her and Bam! My problems are gone. During 2.4 km run, I was damn bloody tired but she kept me going . She is like an inspirational person to me, I guess cuz in my mind ,she always supports me no matter what. Is this too much? I guess so.

Anything to comment? Just post a comment to my Friendster: Mr FDT WAS BORN

Mr FDT LOVES AND MISSES HIS VALENTINE!

Today Was A Bad Day After All! I Even Cried Too!

Yup! It's true that today is a BAD day that I wanna shout until I have no voice. Skool was kinda boring....except for recess.my friend,.Reflix ( nickname)was having troubled with his mataer or gf in el....(Dude, you got friends to talk to like me, Farhan, ( many of ur frens too) and we can help alright?) And infocus, Reflx was in a no-mood condition. He dazes and dreaming off. I do pity him a lot. I also got no mood even school time and do't know why. Then, my friend, Aisyah called me and told she got a presentation and she had to present to the school. Then , during physics time( school time), I call her and she didin't pick up. Farahanah picked up and talked....( Farhanah, if u are readin this, asal marah dgn i nie apa hal? I tk buat ape2 salah per....ke tk der mood)Then hung up....After school, saw my sweet valentine with her friends go toilet and I had go office to put the attendance/behavior bk and go library to put my bag in locker. I thought straight away go for prayers and saw Reflix and Farhan so I wait with them cuz they waitin for someone( mataer) . We walked together until we reached at the place got ttraffic light ...I went straight and Reflix, Farhan and flix's mataer go right n go mkn( ekh gi sembahyang tk...tk gi dpt dosa tau! hehe^^ but betol per..) Then, o.t.w to mosque called Aisyah and talk2 ......Then when reached the mosque, gotta hang up Saw some of my frens( and then salam ....other those who don't know what I say, then forget it) and in the meantime, I messgae some of my friends( mostly girls than noys cuz i know more girls than boys). Then few mins later, prayer started and ended at 2pm.




Then go back to school by 2.10..Saw Marrisa nd her usual kawan/friend...( Marrisa, asal mata merah..sakit, gi doktor larh..) and talked to them and after that go infocus..after chem, physics infocus, all so restless cuz physics teaxher never come..I sms my frens again and go off at 3.40pm. After that, go see Ms Jo and Lewin at Drama Rm...not bad the room...those in DRama, you will be surpised 2morow!! Hehe^^^^.....Then went back home by 4.55..so precise and then went to sleep for a while...Woke up at 7 plus. I saw my hdp got 2 messages from Aiyah saying that she don't want to be my friend anymore. I was shocked at first and was like wth( wth= what the hell).....I didn'to anything wrong what. Then I on my dad's labtop and saw my freindster and gt 2 comments from Farhanah and I don't understand again..I .Then I went to bathe ( and my heart is crying..what is going on?) cuz gotta go for religious class...( Damn! Why the heck is my heart still crying)...Then during my religious class, kept smsing Aisyah amd she want to be my fren again....Now I confused....So complicating ...Then religious class ended late. Went home and read my friends blog, Reflix and his mataer blog seperately...Their latest post so sad to read that my heart continued to cry some more...

Cannot write anymore...I crying.
Sorry!

Mr FDT LOVES AND MISSES HIS VALENTINE !

Started Off Good....But In The End, Not! ( Upside Down Day)

Today was a quite an up-side down day. Skool was good. 4 periods of DNT and no teacher...Yahoo! Then after that got CE...boring and then was recess. Yeah, makan time! Then eat.......after recess, english, go thru answers, then CME also boring and lastly A- Maths.....learnt new formulae, actually just revision of last year. Then after school, had a break and prepare for MT oral.....Then 3pm got oral and I was the last three..gotta wait for so long...

Then, it was my turn. The teacher was the same like last year. After reading the passage, the teacxher says I read well but msut know where to stop or mpause. Conversation time makes me a lot nervous cuz must use the correct Malay word. And the topic not that hard. In english is about Healthy Diet, i think? -_-??...Nvm, then 'talk','talk',talk'........the my turn over..and go walk2 around the school and saw Marrisa and her friend. I talk2 with them and I ask for er email so I cann add her in friendster and MSN( so brave! ask a girl for email..hehe^^..).Marrisa, I know ur boyfie so I keep it to myself....Then waited for Irwan( aka Reflix) and Farhan...and thought want to go home together but Refilx wants to go home with his mataer...And I need to go home early...later parents complained.....

Then, at home, my life turms up-side down. And this thing kinda long and hard to cut it short. I don't knwo how to explain and if I write it down, painful to continue ..So sorry!

MR FDT law's :1) MR FDT LOVES HIS VALENTINE AND MISSES HER A LOT.

A Good Day Today, I Guess?

I had a good day, I guessed. Reached school on time( luckily not late...). First two period got Social Studies,quite confusing...must learn lots of things seh! Economic impact, social impact, environmental impact...then must learn all the strategy how to solve the impact/(s)..And then after SS, got chemistry..go through acids and bases( boring lah...) and must tear some papers from theory workbook...Then , do some work on the papers...the questions...okay..skip to a maths..got the 3rd highest in class( Yeah!! and full marks: 40/40 and get Ferro Rocher...) ..Then recess...so many people queueing up to buy food so have to wait......In the meantime, I shared my Ferro Rocher with my valentine( hope you eat i), one of her friends and myself..Got only 3 three chocs...sorie ppl if u didm't get one. But I was kind enough to share than being selfish person.....Then after school, go mkn...and go infocuz( A maths and EL) ..Then back to boring days....


(Sighing...)
See Ya!

I Feel I Have Done Something Wrong

I don't know but I feel that I have done something wrong. Is the change in me? Or the friends around me ? What's the matter with me?-_-??......HHMMM!!!Can anybody tell me what's the hell is the matter with me? or am I the only one that is nuts? i feel like everybody's trying to avoid me as if I was invisible not invicible.

Then , some of my frens changed as well. In class, outside skool frens. AAARRRGGGH! What's the matter with me people? Tell me, won't ya? I do not know what I've done. So please, I am begging what's the matter with me!

Yesterday, I Had A Great Time !

Yesterday was a good day for me! Wake up ard 7 plus..dun noe 4 wat reason...I and my family ,except my 1st ygr bro(still sleeping), went Swensen to makan breakfast. The breakfast at swensen so damn nice and delicious. Wish can eat there everyday, more shiok! Then, went back home. Went to bathe and get freshened up. After that, sms, sms, sms my friends,'blah','blah'...............

Then at night, I was chatting with a friend of mine....Wah! Chattin wif her can seriously make my face really red.....So RED! Then saw her on webcam and 'Aiyoh'! I saw her face and she was damn cute. Then she call me Mr Lonely and I called Ms Cute!( hehe^^). My heart was pounding so fast as if I was going out for my first date.........( I am Mr Lonely for certain reasons!). Then had to go offline but we still smsed each other. And I called once and talked to her. So I did have a gd time after all! Hehehe^^^^....

Sorry, can't tell who is Ms Cute! Privacy people!
Hehe!!^^

Another Close Friend Has Gone! Why Does This Happen To Me?

Today, another friend left my heart. I knew a few days or weeks.....Why? I don't understand why. (Sigh...)what's wrong with me? Why does it happen to me? Why!!!From yesterday ti'l now, I can't forget what happened. My close friend is a girl and I call her Farhanah..tat's her name. Now she tell me not to disturb or call or sms her anymore.....In my opinion, I think she doesn't want me to be her friend anymore. As today, school was boring...Like got no mood to study lah!....When going to the mosque, I talked to her friends and had a very long talk. And I hate one of her friends...sorry can't remember the name...but seriously., she( referring to one of her friends) really maes my heart boil like crazy...Then, I talked to the other friend( i knew two of her friends) and she was more friendly..(Aisyah, you are so friendly and a bit funny....)..Then, my prayers started so gotta go hung up..And after that, gotta go back school coz got infocus/extra class( chem and phyics). Then in chem infocuz, Farhanah sms tell me.....( the whole thing is on the 3rd line )...I was really upset deep inside my heart..I knew she didn't like me but I do.



Now, I serioulsy don't know what to do from now on. What do I do now? Should I just move on and go for my valentine...but it's hard to forget her( refering to Farhanah).....AAAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!! Then at night, I talk to Aisyah on my problem thru sms and I was at my religious class.....She also said that her friends not going to Junction 8....cuz 2morow is aisyah b'dae....then her frens cannot go....Aisyah said I should go for my valentine......I just don't know lah!

Is it so hard to make a decision when given two choices? Why? Why is it so freakin hard to make a decision?
(Sighing...) ..Don' know what to do.
Can't write anymore

Baddest, Okay,Then Bad Again! What's With Today?

Hai....today was quite a day, I think?! Wake up early like crazy around 6am cuz gotta go for my early bird progamme and was Malay. I do suck at Malay...quite diffuclt to understand...the idioms, the compre( section c)...If only can use the dictionary rhen better..but too bad can only use in P1..some more my oral nxt Wed( why so fast..damn! Gotta practice....as the saying goes: Practice makes Perfect. And today is my valentine's friend birthday( Happy birthday to you Sab!)Now back to my post...My dad sends me to skool by bike...Damn fast ah my dad went....til hard to see what is in front. Reached 7.05am and went up to Blk D( i think?) at level 3...Then saw my ml teacher in charge ...then give us work...Now, the baddest day start..Suddenly, my hdp vibrate..and I answered outside...one of my close friend,of her friend said i cannot talk to her cuz she got no mood to talk. I wondered why. That keeps me thinking why...the early bird progamme finished at 7.45am...after that , school start..Kinda boring...and I almost lost my wallet ( cconfirm die seh if lost) luckily got find in the office. .Then after skool , my fren kacau my valentine andher frens( zirah, kepo siah kau ni...tk der lain benda nk buat).Then, my valentine replied salah ker...I was super malu a.k.a shy..so I quickly went down and it was okay.

My dear close friend, why you do not want to talk to me? Am I ur close fren? What happened to the friend that I know a few days/weeks ago? Did you change somehow? I do not want to make the same mistake again to my ex-close friend. Pls talk to me.
I will be waiting!

Mr FDT

Ex- Friends: Foe/ Strangers Or Still Friends? And Can I Forgive Myself For What I Have Done?

Friends can turn to foe or strangers if we do not trust each other and many others reason too! After two-three weeks of breaking,-up of the friendship, I decided to talk and asked for forgiveness and it happened yesterday. I talked to her and saw on her webcam...Still never change..look the same. (hehe..^^..)..She was that time got no mood. It was all cuz of her freakin BF lah! Killing 'hym' is my no.1 thing in my list but she said no need to punish..Later 'God' will punish hym( padan muka kau...how dare you mess with her feelings!!!! Tk per..nanti Tuhan marah kau ..kau punyer pasal lah)..Then, we talked and talked....talked a long time..don't wanna say a lot..lazy to write talk,talk.....She says she can be my fren again. But one thing that is stopping me. I keep asking myself..Can I forgive myself for what I have done for my actions?..Isometimes keep blaming myself for what I did and done.



To other people, they can just forgive themselves like that. like easy for them to say. As for me, it is dfficult for me to forgive myself. Why? I don't even know why....Sometimes, I can't even explain what I have done. If only someone who will just help me to forgive myself....

Gotta go!..I can't write anymore!
Aites!

The Day Is Here At Last! Yesterday Is Yet The Best!

YEAH! Today is the day that I have been waiting for. It is Valentine's Day and Yahoooo! I don't know why when it comes to that day, I am so Hyper!Today was the best day ever!( Yet stll depressed). It was a day before V.Day. I was prepared, I think?!Roses?Check!Presents?Check!V.day card? Check! Yup...I was prepared alright! Just Nervous!( feeling like peeing my pants...hehehehe!^^... but nah!)..This is the first and my last time doing this personally. My friend, Irwan helped though.( Thanks for your advcie and everything else!!^^...I really appreciate!..And thanks for being my friend too!)He asked my valentine to meet me behind my cca blk and tell her to come alone after school.After school finished, I ask Irwan whether can use his cologne cuz his cologne smells totally nice and long-lasting so when I meet her, I smell nice and body-odour-free. No girl likes a smelly, stinky boys so I put on....Wait for so long...and I ask Irwan to help me find her and he said he still she in class so I went up to see. I went in and when I was about to give, suddenly got teacher inside...Feels so much like a fool. Damn you 'cher'! I quickly ran out of the class and hid myself. Then I sms her what time she finished...Wait for a few mins, then she replied and said she just finished . Then she called but I didn't pick up cuz I was rushing down so get missed call.Then I sms her to meet me behind my CCA block alone...I want to give her personally ( like gentleman..hehe!) ...Then when she came she got my 2 roses that I ordered earlier...and I thought she never get so I go and get another 2 roses from school council...I was so shy that I was about to blush but cannot adnit my blush so I hid my blush and be confident. I gave her my gift and the card too! She said thanks ( but I think she won't admit anything...though I had a crush on her ever since last year..and 1 of my friends say I should 'kiss' her on the cheeks and cabut..but don't want. Later, she thinks I am weird and don't want to be my friend so I didn't do that...When 'we' become B..G.R , that's if we get to become(insyakallah/ hopefully)..then maybe can...I think about it first lah!) and she went off with her friends...Her friends were like so 'kepoh'/busybody like makcik when I gave her the gift....When she left, I also rushed cuz I was late for my Friday prayer! I had to ZOOM! to the nearest masjid a.k.a mosque . Luckily I made it in time...Phew! After prayers, I sms her I was late and she laugh..( don't let me tickle you..then you know!). I also tell hopefully she likes the gift...and she likes it..( Cute right?..like me right..Hei what I am telling this..Damn! I'm blushing!(rubbing my cheeks)..)Then I went back to school, got infocus..why got infocus ? If don't have, then better! I can follow my valentine( like she allows me like that!)....Kinda long story right? Hard to summarise lah! Must tell the whole story..then bettter..My 'summarisation' kinda difficult......That's it..I think I will never forget that day!

See Ya!
Mr FDT

A Close Friend Gone..A New Friend Will Come And Damn You, Yani And Irwan!

After losing a close friend, I was really upset and sad about it...I checked my friendster and saw this girl...She was my brother's friend cousin! Now we talked like almost like close freinds but not that close and I cannot tell her name..later she very shy..i just call her 'she'. 'she' is a friendly,caring ...not too mention cute..serious ..she has a cute laugh and a a cute smile, and she sa i good-looking , freindly caring...I was blushing like .my face was so red.. Now back to my post.Yesterday,after school, I went to follow my friend, with his girlfriend( Mrs Tiger!) and also one of our friends go and makan at Parkway Parade. Took no 31 beside our school and go to the bus stop. My friend and his gf playin around..i jealous ahh..still single. I called 'she' cuz i was bored to death..Inside the bus, 'talk','talk',talk' and inside the bus my friend duduk dgn his new gf, after askin his gf sister permission to 'state' with her. My other friend, Farhan, sat behind me...and then I continued to talk to 'she'. Then I saw my friend like kissing her...I was like GROSS! AND EEWWW! and inside the bus....that's my new nightmare seh! I even tell my friend and I was shocked..till I myself was awed. But they were talking to each other ear.....but I didn't believe.....until now I just can't forget it.AAAHHH! What's wrong with me? Damn! Then when reached Parkway Parade, I gotta go back my home cuz my little bro and my little sister want to come home and the house door was locked. That's what my mum said so I quickly apologized to my friends and rushed back like hell!



By the time I reached home, they were inside the house. My 1st ygr brother inside. Damn! Go back for no reasons and damn to my brother.His prepaid low. Now let's talk about 'she'. Talking to her was the best. She said one of her friends' wan to 'tackle' me but it was a joke. LOL! I feel like talking to her everyday and I don' t know why. Today, i was quite okae. Only after skool, i was mad. I met yani near the canteen seorang and to come alone. After I admit everything , she said she will tell my valentine and then my surpise is all over. Irwan, damn your adik angkat cannot keep secrets is it? Abang angkat tk tahu jaga adik ke?( chinese people, you do not need to know these cos it is malay..dduhh.). On Friday , it is the time I give my presents and I cannot wait for that day to come..

Signing off,
Mr FDT

I Had A Great Time When Suddenly I Lost A Friend, I Lost My Mum's Trust.....What Will I Lost Now?

I had a great time yesterday. I went out with my freinds, Irwan ,Farhan and Danial. We were supposed to meet at the Tampines MRT AT 1...they came late..damn you...wait for so long like around an hour! When they came, we go to TM, not tampines mall..hehe...We walk2 around..go Mini Toons , the shop nxt to it..urban concepts...i and irwan finding our gift for our valentine...i gotta find something for my valentine..has to be cute( like me ..hehehe!!) . After that , we go Century Squrare and go makan2 frist..we all hungry til our stomach growling...GGGRRR!!! Me and irwan eat prawn noodle....then danial eat spaghetti( ekh tk kenayng(full) ekh?) After that, we went to Lovely Land....WOW got a lot of things to buy man! We took about 45 mins (max) in there. For me..i bought a present and a card too....sorie I cannot tell what it is...Only my valentine would only knows..if u know who is my valentine ......Then we decided to go where next..White Sands, Causeway Point( no way too far!), Parkway Parade...Set!..We go there take bus 31 and we walked there. Then I go and take money from POSB bank..( damn must bring money nxt time). Then we go eat abit at Long John Silver...There we saw one of our friends, Namirah. She was like cleaning ...kesian nyer....i pity her ...After eating, irwan help by helping with Namirah by throwing our rubbish..what a helpful friend I and Namirah and Farhan and Danial have...Then we go walk2 around..danial and irwan talk so private....( Korang ckp aper ahh..discuss dgn kiter ahh)...Then we thought of going Danial's house and we took bus 31 again and go back to tamp interchange. Once I reached there, I went to toilet at Mac. Then Farhan call and say everybody went home..(damn lah u all!). Then the worst thing happened., I lost a good friend, a very close friend. She is my special freind Now, I can't longer contact her anymore and I don't know why. I think it's her friends and her mum. To them, I am like distarcting and irritating her. which may affect her studies. To me, I did not do anything wrong to her. I only invite her to go eaat with me and she say no. I understand that but her friends don't understand me at all. After 3 months of knowing her, it is like our friendship has now longer. It's like a part of me has disappeared just like that. I never did anyhting wrong and now she won't longer be my friend anymore. I feel like crying .........after 3 months, is that long? Knowing her after these months, I thought we are good friends but now ,we are now like starngers to each other. After that, it is like I never knew her at all! I thought I had some feelings for her......Just forget it lah

Then after that, I lost my mum's trust. I didn't tell the truth...and lied to her. I said that one for my fren and she can detect whether people is lying. Damn...after that, my parents tech me and we went to E!hub and go bowl but not me. I go to arcade and play a lot of games...Then my parents and my sibilings at the bowling area. Then my dud want to talk to me like why i lie, and ask who was it for...after talking, then he decide to talk to my mum....And my mum understood. Then I was okay...Now what? I do know what to do..

Gotta go.
See ya!

Now, My Heart Is Truly Broken. Can It Be Mend? Or Not?

Today was the WORST day ever! After school, I was supposed to meet my special friend for lunch and I was late. Once I reached the Simei MRT, she waited for me, together.with her friends. I was so shy that I moved to one side and she came alone to me. Then she told me I was late and she needed to go back to school to see her history teacher. I said one day, we will eat with each other. Then, she went off with her freinds and went back to school and I went back to school to see my Drama friends/crew. In the MRT, I felt like my heart was broken and I can hold onto it. Once I reached my Drama area, I started to cry. I can't take the pain away from my heart. My instructor saw me and I told her everything and her boyfriend also knew. Sometimes, I can't control my emotions and people won't understand my feelings but I DON'T CARE! I sms my school friend and asked for help but he want to be alone with his girl-friend ( not girlfriend yet ). What kind of friend? Duirng the Drama, I was like no mood and do not want talk to any of my Drama friends except for my instructor and her boyfriend.Then, one of her freinds called and told me to stay away from her and said I got no time with her. Once she hanfg up, I was even mad and felt like SCREAMING LIKE HELL! I was like what the hell and felt like dropping by handphone.That was the only chance that I can have lunch with her and now, I can't. Finally, my heart is broken. I was speechless and can barely speak. I thought it could go according to plam but in the end, it turned to a disaster. I thought we are freinds? What now? Are we still freinds or strangers to each other ?
I wanted to cool off...I tried to close and went to sleep. End up sleeping an hour and a half. After waking up , I left for home, I still felt that my heart was still broken.

If you are reading this, my special freind, you seriously broke my heart. This is my frirst and last chance to go out with you for lunch. Your friends should not scold me,..you know what they said. It really makes me sad and angry at the same time. They say I should not layan you. Did you agree with that? If you agree, then you seriously break my heart into million pieces. If you disagree...then ..I don't know hat to say as I am now sppechless and .Sorry.....I can't continue writing this..It is too painful for me to continue on.....

Dear viewers, I am sorry if I can't finish my post. It is painful. to carry on writng this post and to me, it is emtional .Anything jsut post comments on my friendster: Mr FDT Was Born..(AAAHHHH!!!!!!)

Really sorry.